Being a young little girl, my dreams had been to be a prize winner writer. Being a little grown up girl, my dream was to be an international best selling author. Being at the point of my life right now, where you stand in a middle of nowhere, where neither you can look back or move ahead, it might be a chivalry to say that I would be a writer. There are just so many better people than me, so many nicer people. People that I both like and hate and it’s a pain that I endure everyday that there are people who are actually making something out of them while I am laying here on my bed and writing a blog I don’t even have the idea how to use. The thing is I’m not brilliant, I’m not extra-ordinary. Neither do I pretend to be something that I am not. See, I have a life and I have some dreams regarding to it. And a wish to make them come true. Do you know how much time, patience and effort it needs to cherish a dream? Of course you do. Everyone’s a dreamer. Everyone wants to be something. But not everyone takes the chance to fulfill it. This is where the difference is. I don’t know where life would take me. I don’t know what my life has in store for me. What I do know is, I can take myself to a point where my dreams can flourish, so that later when I am sitting on my veranda under the shade at the back of my house in a late afternoon enjoying a lavender essence tea, I can tell myself I put myself out there. I tried. It wouldn’t matter if I failed. I’d be a happy girl.
Sometimes it is enough. But not containing. I want to put myself out there. I want to put myself to test if I can. Because it’s the regrets that break us, not the broken dreams. You can sleep with a heavy heart and a deep sigh. But you cannot sleep with a burden in your mind. I like to think that I can put myself out there and win. Even if I achieve the slightest thing, I am a winner. There’s nothing to lose. Because in life, there’s nothing called winning or losing. It’s only achieving. There is nothing lost in the ocean, it comes back, maybe not where you lost it but where someone else finds it. Your lose is someone else’s gain, maybe when the finder remembers you , it comes a blessing.
My dream is like that. Like the ocean. Big and crossing the limit. Just as it tries to catch the wind with it’s waves, and the sand wants to lose itself in the ocean water- my dream wants to sail far away as possible and reach the limit. I want to lose myself like those sands in the ocean of my dreams.
With every waves when they sail, I want to remain there standing and watch my dreams reach where they belong. Watch them take themselves to the limit where they meet others and together I want to cherish every bit of those dreams to be what I dream to become now.